Weight This Morning: 160.5lbs
Goal Weight: 150lbs
Mood: Lonely

Well as you can see I have not been posting but I HAVE been working out! I'm getting closer to my goal weight but it's going to be a challenge getting rid of this post pregnancy belly. I just dont even see how it is possible. My stomach looks deformed to say the least.

Today is officially the last day of summer vacation for Rebekah and I cannot believe it is already over! I didnt do as much with her as I would have liked to but overall it was a good summer. Rebekah, Rachel and I were pretty much together every day all day for the past couple of months. Jacob's new job meant that he worked a ton of hours so it was just us girls during their waking hours. I'm glad she's going back to school...I could not stimulate her as much as she needed. I hope she'll enjoy kindergarten in her new school and that she will make lots of good friends. I'm more nervous about her new school than she is...I'm just glad she's a lot more outgoing than I was as a little kid!

So my mood is listed as lonely and that's because although I LOVE staying at home with the kids and I LOVE not having to choose between my family and my job, I feel a little bit left behind by the rest of the world. Even though I feel beyond blessed to be able to stay at home and take care of my family I also feel like I might be viewed as a quitter for not being able to balance work and family. I'm also really nervous at the prospect of returning to work next year after we come back from India. (Yes, we plan to go to India this December.) I wonder how employers will view my job history...I also wonder how I'm going to convince a potential employer that although I do like to work and I really like challenges in the workplace, I have no intention of working a ton of overtime and stealing time away from my family and church. Then there is the flipside of sending Rachel to daycare at such a young age. I cannot even get into the guilt I'm going to have with that decision. I know lots of people do it but I have never wanted to. We were blessed in that Rebekah was with my dad for a long time but I cannot ask him to do that again with Rachel. If he volunteers then I will consider it but I'm not going to ask him. Anyway, hopefully this feeling will pass soon and hopefully, God will provide a smooth transition back to work when He decides it's time. Until then, there is laundry and a sink full of dishes that are calling for my attention!