Weight this Morning: 170lbs!
Goal Weight: 140lbs
Mood: Anxious
So I finally hit my half way point no thanks to me because I have not worked out in over a week but I have at least been eating decently. I'm almost certain that the only reason I have reached my mid point goal is because I have lost some muscle but oh well. I will not look a gift horse in the mouth....I have no idea if I phrased that cliche correctly and I dont know its origin but you get what I mean. I now have one month to lose some more weight before our church retreat and a wedding in Houston. I have got to get my rear in gear from a workout standpoint. My mom left yesterday for her last minute trip to India to help my grandparents so the last week consisted of us spending time with her or helping where we could. Working out was definitely pushed to the back burner. Now that she's gone for a month (she should be in the air as I type this)I need to start working out in the evenings so I can relieve my dad a little bit earlier with Rebekah. I'm hoping my sister will also be available to go to the gym with me. She indirectly motivates me because I would like to be her size again. I was going to write more but got distracted and now dont feel like finishing so....The End!
Friday, July 25, 2008
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Hodge Podge
Weight This Morning: 172.5lbs
Goal Weight: 140lbs
Mood: Tired and Confused mixed in with Thankful
Oh where to begin...I guess quick pointless weightloss update. Given my use of the term "pointless" I think it's obvious that I haven't worked out in forever and I ate like a person trying to gain 35 pounds rather than lose 35 pounds all weekend. I didnt get my workout in yesterday either because I think I was avoiding the gym. BUT I now have an MP3 player with updated songs and I truly cannot wait to hear them while on the treadmill! So I'll be stopping there before going to pick up Rebekah this afternoon...God willing!
My mom is going to India because my grandparents can use some extra help. My grandmother (Amma) had surgery and is recovering while my grandfather (Appachen) has quite a few lung problems and other issues that he was hospitalized for. They are both doing much better now and are at home but I'm sure having one of their children come home will help and I know my mom really wants to see them. I havent been to India since 1995 and I feel terrible about it. There's always something...Current issue is lack of vacation mixed in with the fact that with Rebekah's limited food choices I'll have a tough time keeping her well fed. I need to go though. She needs to meet her only living great grandparents and she is their first great grandchild and they really want to see her. I hope God will provide a very obvious way for us to go. In the meantime, my mom will leave on Thursday and will be gone for a month.
This past weekend was incredible! We had our Girl's Bible Study which included almost all of our church girls as well as some of my close girlfriends. The topic we studied was Eternal Perspective and we focused on Hebrews 12:1-2 and 2Samuel 11:1-12:25. Julie and I have been talking about the topic for awhile and we worked like crazy putting the study together and praying that God would allow it to be a blessing to everyone that came. Given everyone's reactions it seemed like God really answered our prayers. I'm really encouraged by the response we got. I did notice though that it is really hard not to accidentally steal a little glory from God. I have literally been praying that God would not let me get any kind of big head just because this went so well. It's really hard when everyone is saying how much they enjoyed the study to not think "Wow, I actually did a good job!" I know with all of my heart that the only reason it went so smoothly is because of God but I think consciously reminding myself of that every once in awhile helps keep my feet on the ground. I really did enjoy working on the study though and I hope God will continue to teach me things and help me to keep participating in this kind of thing. I also hope that I will always be willing to do it.
Rebekah is doing good. She is growing so quickly - mentally anyway - and I feel like we cant keep up. Her reasoning skills, her vocabulary and her sometimes smart mouth continue to amaze us. I think she's going through her terrible three's which I did hear about from other parents and I just feel like I am again being inconsistent in the way I am reacting to her attitude. I just need to pray for wisdom because intuition is not making me feel too comfortable. She still can be such a sweet little girl though...she's quick with "I love you very much" and "I missed you so much when you were at work" and the big tight hugs around the neck but when her evil twin appears I am instantly beaten down. Cannot imagine life without her though!!!
Goal Weight: 140lbs
Mood: Tired and Confused mixed in with Thankful
Oh where to begin...I guess quick pointless weightloss update. Given my use of the term "pointless" I think it's obvious that I haven't worked out in forever and I ate like a person trying to gain 35 pounds rather than lose 35 pounds all weekend. I didnt get my workout in yesterday either because I think I was avoiding the gym. BUT I now have an MP3 player with updated songs and I truly cannot wait to hear them while on the treadmill! So I'll be stopping there before going to pick up Rebekah this afternoon...God willing!
My mom is going to India because my grandparents can use some extra help. My grandmother (Amma) had surgery and is recovering while my grandfather (Appachen) has quite a few lung problems and other issues that he was hospitalized for. They are both doing much better now and are at home but I'm sure having one of their children come home will help and I know my mom really wants to see them. I havent been to India since 1995 and I feel terrible about it. There's always something...Current issue is lack of vacation mixed in with the fact that with Rebekah's limited food choices I'll have a tough time keeping her well fed. I need to go though. She needs to meet her only living great grandparents and she is their first great grandchild and they really want to see her. I hope God will provide a very obvious way for us to go. In the meantime, my mom will leave on Thursday and will be gone for a month.
This past weekend was incredible! We had our Girl's Bible Study which included almost all of our church girls as well as some of my close girlfriends. The topic we studied was Eternal Perspective and we focused on Hebrews 12:1-2 and 2Samuel 11:1-12:25. Julie and I have been talking about the topic for awhile and we worked like crazy putting the study together and praying that God would allow it to be a blessing to everyone that came. Given everyone's reactions it seemed like God really answered our prayers. I'm really encouraged by the response we got. I did notice though that it is really hard not to accidentally steal a little glory from God. I have literally been praying that God would not let me get any kind of big head just because this went so well. It's really hard when everyone is saying how much they enjoyed the study to not think "Wow, I actually did a good job!" I know with all of my heart that the only reason it went so smoothly is because of God but I think consciously reminding myself of that every once in awhile helps keep my feet on the ground. I really did enjoy working on the study though and I hope God will continue to teach me things and help me to keep participating in this kind of thing. I also hope that I will always be willing to do it.
Rebekah is doing good. She is growing so quickly - mentally anyway - and I feel like we cant keep up. Her reasoning skills, her vocabulary and her sometimes smart mouth continue to amaze us. I think she's going through her terrible three's which I did hear about from other parents and I just feel like I am again being inconsistent in the way I am reacting to her attitude. I just need to pray for wisdom because intuition is not making me feel too comfortable. She still can be such a sweet little girl though...she's quick with "I love you very much" and "I missed you so much when you were at work" and the big tight hugs around the neck but when her evil twin appears I am instantly beaten down. Cannot imagine life without her though!!!
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Nostalgia
Weight This Morning: 174lbs
Goal Weight: 140lbs
Mood: Undecided/Sleepy
So last night for some reason Jacob decided to put on our wedding video. When it comes to our wedding video Jacob and I have opposite roles in comparison to the norm. He would watch it once a week or maybe once a month whereas we have now been married almost 5 years and last night was only the second time I'd ever seen it. I am also not the typical girl when it comes to wedding. I can certainly appreciate attending a nicely planned wedding but I have absolutely no interest in discussing the details of everything. Wedding planning was a horrible beating for me. By the day of the wedding I hadnt slept in two days and I was exhausted. Everything went off well and without any VISIBLE hitches but I just have a very real memory of how stressed and tired I was the morning of my wedding. So I really hate to watch that video and recall my mood that morning. Obviously as the day progressed the stress wore off and you can see how genuinely happy I am at the reception. It truly was probably the greatest day of my life but I still cant help cringe when I think about that morning. Anyway, because we watched that video I stayed up later than usual and that's why I'm sleepy today.
I did get some cooking done. I cooked some Indian food last night. Nothing difficult but even the "easy" stuff takes me some time to do. I still have more cooking to do but I probably wont get to that until Thursday. Tonight I'm going to meet two old coworkers up for dinner. I miss my old coworkers. I kind of grew up at the last company I worked for. I started there while I was still in college, got married while I was there, had a kid while I was there, and had all kinds of personal drama during that 6 years. I left because the company was not the same as it once was but I miss being around people that I knew and that knew me. We're going to have Mexican tonight which is absolutely my biggest weakness. I could eat chicken enchiladas, rice and refried beans everyday and not get sick of it. That being said I absolutely cannot eat that tonight! Somehow I'm going to have to find something healthy to eat tonight. I wonder how many calories are in refried beans...I really want to work out before dinner too but I dont know if I'll be able to swing that either. I guess I'll you know what happens!
Goal Weight: 140lbs
Mood: Undecided/Sleepy
So last night for some reason Jacob decided to put on our wedding video. When it comes to our wedding video Jacob and I have opposite roles in comparison to the norm. He would watch it once a week or maybe once a month whereas we have now been married almost 5 years and last night was only the second time I'd ever seen it. I am also not the typical girl when it comes to wedding. I can certainly appreciate attending a nicely planned wedding but I have absolutely no interest in discussing the details of everything. Wedding planning was a horrible beating for me. By the day of the wedding I hadnt slept in two days and I was exhausted. Everything went off well and without any VISIBLE hitches but I just have a very real memory of how stressed and tired I was the morning of my wedding. So I really hate to watch that video and recall my mood that morning. Obviously as the day progressed the stress wore off and you can see how genuinely happy I am at the reception. It truly was probably the greatest day of my life but I still cant help cringe when I think about that morning. Anyway, because we watched that video I stayed up later than usual and that's why I'm sleepy today.
I did get some cooking done. I cooked some Indian food last night. Nothing difficult but even the "easy" stuff takes me some time to do. I still have more cooking to do but I probably wont get to that until Thursday. Tonight I'm going to meet two old coworkers up for dinner. I miss my old coworkers. I kind of grew up at the last company I worked for. I started there while I was still in college, got married while I was there, had a kid while I was there, and had all kinds of personal drama during that 6 years. I left because the company was not the same as it once was but I miss being around people that I knew and that knew me. We're going to have Mexican tonight which is absolutely my biggest weakness. I could eat chicken enchiladas, rice and refried beans everyday and not get sick of it. That being said I absolutely cannot eat that tonight! Somehow I'm going to have to find something healthy to eat tonight. I wonder how many calories are in refried beans...I really want to work out before dinner too but I dont know if I'll be able to swing that either. I guess I'll you know what happens!
Monday, July 14, 2008
Piles of Stuff...
Weight This Morning: 174lbs
Goal Weight: 140lbs
Mood: Disappointed
I'm rewriting my blog because I just went through a rant that was probably a page long and realized in case someone ever reads this blog they might take something I said the wrong way. That being said I'm disappointed because this weekend I was hoping to tackle the stacks/piles of papers and just stuff that has been slowly collecting in my house and either putting stuff away or throwing stuff away but I didnt get to it. I am the completely opposite of a pack rat. I would much rather throw something away than potentially let it sit in a closet or on a shelf somewhere going unused for the next 5 years. Apparently, I'm a rare breed because no one else in my family seems to think that way and it is causing me some heartburn. This is not to say that I'm a super clean person. I am not. The preferred state of my house is to have everything gleaming and I really enjoy the faint smell of bleach or vinegar or lemon in the air which hints that everything has just been cleaned. But life does not allow me such conveniences. I dont get to clean nearly as often or as thoroughly as I'd like to. Nonetheless, there is a difference between having a messy house from everyday activities and having a messy house due to piles of stuff that just collect and are NEVER put away. Slowly the latter state is taking over the former state and it is getting to me! I literally would like to take some days off at work to go home when no one else is there and just clean it one square foot at a time. But again, life does not afford me such conveniences. I am however determined to make a dent in it this week. Everyday this week after work I plan on going to the gym, picking up Rebekah and spending at least two hours on some part of the house.
This weekend was also horrible from a workout/eating point of view. To put it simply, I havent been to the gym since last Wednesday and I ate terribly all weekend long. Whenever Jacob comes back into town I get screwed up. I'm so happy to see him and spend time with him that I dont particularly like to be away from him unless I have to. He's not supposed to travel anymore though and I am going to the gym tonight so hopefully I will get back into the swing of things permanently. The thing is, I'm supposed to be making a life change. If this is truly going to be a permanent addition to my schedule I've got to figure out how to always make room for it.
Here's to hoping and working towards a successfully productive week in terms of cleaning, eating well, and working out hard. It will definitely be a major prayer request this week...
Goal Weight: 140lbs
Mood: Disappointed
I'm rewriting my blog because I just went through a rant that was probably a page long and realized in case someone ever reads this blog they might take something I said the wrong way. That being said I'm disappointed because this weekend I was hoping to tackle the stacks/piles of papers and just stuff that has been slowly collecting in my house and either putting stuff away or throwing stuff away but I didnt get to it. I am the completely opposite of a pack rat. I would much rather throw something away than potentially let it sit in a closet or on a shelf somewhere going unused for the next 5 years. Apparently, I'm a rare breed because no one else in my family seems to think that way and it is causing me some heartburn. This is not to say that I'm a super clean person. I am not. The preferred state of my house is to have everything gleaming and I really enjoy the faint smell of bleach or vinegar or lemon in the air which hints that everything has just been cleaned. But life does not allow me such conveniences. I dont get to clean nearly as often or as thoroughly as I'd like to. Nonetheless, there is a difference between having a messy house from everyday activities and having a messy house due to piles of stuff that just collect and are NEVER put away. Slowly the latter state is taking over the former state and it is getting to me! I literally would like to take some days off at work to go home when no one else is there and just clean it one square foot at a time. But again, life does not afford me such conveniences. I am however determined to make a dent in it this week. Everyday this week after work I plan on going to the gym, picking up Rebekah and spending at least two hours on some part of the house.
This weekend was also horrible from a workout/eating point of view. To put it simply, I havent been to the gym since last Wednesday and I ate terribly all weekend long. Whenever Jacob comes back into town I get screwed up. I'm so happy to see him and spend time with him that I dont particularly like to be away from him unless I have to. He's not supposed to travel anymore though and I am going to the gym tonight so hopefully I will get back into the swing of things permanently. The thing is, I'm supposed to be making a life change. If this is truly going to be a permanent addition to my schedule I've got to figure out how to always make room for it.
Here's to hoping and working towards a successfully productive week in terms of cleaning, eating well, and working out hard. It will definitely be a major prayer request this week...
Thursday, July 10, 2008
I knew it would happen...
Weight this Morning: 175lbs
Goal Weight: 140lbs
Mood: Annoyed
This morning is the reason why you are not supposed to weigh yourself everyday. I ate well yesterday and exercised extra hard yesterday but instead of being 173 as I had hoped I'm up to 175. Now I know enough to understand that I'm probably either retaining water or building muscle but emotionally I had a split second thought of "What's the point?!?!" I realize how silly I'm being but I have been insecure about my weight for so long that I feel like if I dont lose it all by the end of this year that I'm going to be fat forever.
Rebekah was finally in bed by 10pm yesterday...with everything that has been going on this is actually a good thing even though it sounds ridiculous. I cant wait to get her back on a normal sleep schedule again. Other than the fact she needs a regular sleep pattern, it's sad when my bedtime is earlier than hers! Insert rolling of the eyes from Jacob who feels like I have an inability to stay up past 8pm. :)
Goal Weight: 140lbs
Mood: Annoyed
This morning is the reason why you are not supposed to weigh yourself everyday. I ate well yesterday and exercised extra hard yesterday but instead of being 173 as I had hoped I'm up to 175. Now I know enough to understand that I'm probably either retaining water or building muscle but emotionally I had a split second thought of "What's the point?!?!" I realize how silly I'm being but I have been insecure about my weight for so long that I feel like if I dont lose it all by the end of this year that I'm going to be fat forever.
Rebekah was finally in bed by 10pm yesterday...with everything that has been going on this is actually a good thing even though it sounds ridiculous. I cant wait to get her back on a normal sleep schedule again. Other than the fact she needs a regular sleep pattern, it's sad when my bedtime is earlier than hers! Insert rolling of the eyes from Jacob who feels like I have an inability to stay up past 8pm. :)
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Wednesday
Weight this Morning: 174lbs
Goal Weight: 140lbs
Mood: Thankful
Another pound bites the dust and I am so excited. At the same time I'm thinking about the other THIRTY-FOUR POUNDS that I have yet to lose. You're not supposed to be doing it the way I am where I am comparing my current weight to my ultimate goal weight. I do have mini goals too but I just dont list them on here. By the end of August I would like to be down to 160. 14 pounds in 54 days which translates into 1 pound every 3.857 days...obsess much? As you can see the weight has been falling off so the diet and exercise is obviously working but I'm sure I'm going to hit a plateau at some point and hopefully that wont put me into a major tailspin.
I made it to the gym last night after VBS. I dropped Rebekah off, picked up my sisters and by the time I got back home again it was 10:45pm. I just have to do this for the next three days and then I can go back to some normal schedule...I hope I can keep it up!
VBS was good again last night. A lot less hectic than the first day since there are very few new people on the second day. A few people decided to get saved yesterday which is great!
Goal Weight: 140lbs
Mood: Thankful
Another pound bites the dust and I am so excited. At the same time I'm thinking about the other THIRTY-FOUR POUNDS that I have yet to lose. You're not supposed to be doing it the way I am where I am comparing my current weight to my ultimate goal weight. I do have mini goals too but I just dont list them on here. By the end of August I would like to be down to 160. 14 pounds in 54 days which translates into 1 pound every 3.857 days...obsess much? As you can see the weight has been falling off so the diet and exercise is obviously working but I'm sure I'm going to hit a plateau at some point and hopefully that wont put me into a major tailspin.
I made it to the gym last night after VBS. I dropped Rebekah off, picked up my sisters and by the time I got back home again it was 10:45pm. I just have to do this for the next three days and then I can go back to some normal schedule...I hope I can keep it up!
VBS was good again last night. A lot less hectic than the first day since there are very few new people on the second day. A few people decided to get saved yesterday which is great!
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
4 days to go...
Weight this Morning: 175lbs
Goal Weight: 140lbs
Mood: Sleeeeeepy!
I live for weekends. I appreciate them much more now because we really make use of them. I mean we rarely get them to ourselves - we are usually doing some church related or family related activity but we are having fun! So that's what my title refers to...
Last night was the first evening of VBS. From my perspective things went well. There was a rough start just because of the administrative nightmare of about 60+ kids that didnt pre-register and random issues like printer problems but other than that things seemed to go really well. I'm so thankful that God put me in a church that has a youth group that is so active. They really inspire me to participate more and I hope Rebekah will serve the church as she grows older. That makes me think about how we will present our vision of what are the priorities in life to Rebekah. Obviously, we want her to do well in school and get scholarships and become the next president - not really but you get the point; however, more than that I want her to consider God the most important aspect of her life. And with God comes church which means worshipping Him at church, serving Him in any way at church (cleaning a bathroom or helping with VBS), fellowshipping with people her age as well as people who are older or younger, and of course reading from the word and praying constantly. I especially dont want her to feel like church is ever an option and I dont want her to feel that way just because she is scared of me or her dad but because she truly loves God. I am personally far from that but I can see that's where I need to be. God can change anyone at anytime but if Rebekah grows up feeling these things it will be a part of her in some corner of her mind even into adulthood:
Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
I heard a child last night who seemed on the path to accepting the Lord and it was pretty amazing. Honestly I dont know if it was a boy or a girl because they were so young and I could only hear their voice but the knowledge and training that child had obviously encountered either from their parents or someone else had stuck. The child was asked all kinds of questions by the counselor to make sure they understood the concept of Christ being our Savior and everything that entailed and I was really shocked at how much the child knew and understood. I didnt hear the whole thing but I was convicted by what I did hear. Reminds me of this verse:
Matthew 19:14 But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.
Now on to more shallow topics: I didnt work out last night. I just couldnt get to the gym before it got too late. I'm going to try again today. As you can see at the top I'm still steadily losing weight and I'm seriously excited about that! For that reason, I cannot stop working out. Tomorrow I will hopefully tell you that I made it.
4 more days until Jacob gets home too. We have such an inability to talk on the phone. I cant wait until he gets here on Friday.
Goal Weight: 140lbs
Mood: Sleeeeeepy!
I live for weekends. I appreciate them much more now because we really make use of them. I mean we rarely get them to ourselves - we are usually doing some church related or family related activity but we are having fun! So that's what my title refers to...
Last night was the first evening of VBS. From my perspective things went well. There was a rough start just because of the administrative nightmare of about 60+ kids that didnt pre-register and random issues like printer problems but other than that things seemed to go really well. I'm so thankful that God put me in a church that has a youth group that is so active. They really inspire me to participate more and I hope Rebekah will serve the church as she grows older. That makes me think about how we will present our vision of what are the priorities in life to Rebekah. Obviously, we want her to do well in school and get scholarships and become the next president - not really but you get the point; however, more than that I want her to consider God the most important aspect of her life. And with God comes church which means worshipping Him at church, serving Him in any way at church (cleaning a bathroom or helping with VBS), fellowshipping with people her age as well as people who are older or younger, and of course reading from the word and praying constantly. I especially dont want her to feel like church is ever an option and I dont want her to feel that way just because she is scared of me or her dad but because she truly loves God. I am personally far from that but I can see that's where I need to be. God can change anyone at anytime but if Rebekah grows up feeling these things it will be a part of her in some corner of her mind even into adulthood:
Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
I heard a child last night who seemed on the path to accepting the Lord and it was pretty amazing. Honestly I dont know if it was a boy or a girl because they were so young and I could only hear their voice but the knowledge and training that child had obviously encountered either from their parents or someone else had stuck. The child was asked all kinds of questions by the counselor to make sure they understood the concept of Christ being our Savior and everything that entailed and I was really shocked at how much the child knew and understood. I didnt hear the whole thing but I was convicted by what I did hear. Reminds me of this verse:
Matthew 19:14 But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.
Now on to more shallow topics: I didnt work out last night. I just couldnt get to the gym before it got too late. I'm going to try again today. As you can see at the top I'm still steadily losing weight and I'm seriously excited about that! For that reason, I cannot stop working out. Tomorrow I will hopefully tell you that I made it.
4 more days until Jacob gets home too. We have such an inability to talk on the phone. I cant wait until he gets here on Friday.
Monday, July 7, 2008
Fun Weekend...
Weight this Morning: 176lbs
Goal Weight: 140lbs
Mood: Not sure
We had a great weekend but as usual it ended up all too abruptly and with me dropping Jacob off at DFW for another flight to LAX. I think if nothing else, these trips have made me appreciate my husband a lot more because I REALLY miss him when he's gone. At least we had almost a month in between trips this time. I am truly thankful for that!
This week is VBS at our church. I love VBS because Rebekah had such a great time last year. It's everyday for a week and last year when it was over I had to explain to her for the two weeks following why we were not going to VBS again until next year. So although she doesnt really remember VBS from last year everyone has been hyping it up and we've been decorating the church for it so she's really looking forward to it. For me it will be a bit of a scheduling hassle because I dont know how I'm going to fit in my workouts. Either I go before or go late after VBS. I would rather go before but the more I think about it I might have to go after which will make the mornings oh so dreadful due to lack of sufficient sleep.
Making decisions as a Christian can be too hard sometimes. The hardest times are when you dont know if you are making a decision from a Christian perspective or a selfish perspective. Sometimes the result is the same but you question it because you're motives are not clear even to yourself. I know what would help me - sticking to my regular prayer/Bible reading time every day. I'm so horrible about that. But I am more at ease with my decisions when I know I'm communing with God on a daily basis. I will do really good for a few days and then something will happen and I'll fall off track again. Of course I pray randomly during the day but I need the focused time with Him and I'm not always good about giving it to Him. Some people have grown up having this special time every day so to them it's like brushing their teeth and they cant imagine not having that time in their day. I admire that and need to develop it. Rebekah should know that her parents dont go a day without kneeling before God and reading from His word.
Goal Weight: 140lbs
Mood: Not sure
We had a great weekend but as usual it ended up all too abruptly and with me dropping Jacob off at DFW for another flight to LAX. I think if nothing else, these trips have made me appreciate my husband a lot more because I REALLY miss him when he's gone. At least we had almost a month in between trips this time. I am truly thankful for that!
This week is VBS at our church. I love VBS because Rebekah had such a great time last year. It's everyday for a week and last year when it was over I had to explain to her for the two weeks following why we were not going to VBS again until next year. So although she doesnt really remember VBS from last year everyone has been hyping it up and we've been decorating the church for it so she's really looking forward to it. For me it will be a bit of a scheduling hassle because I dont know how I'm going to fit in my workouts. Either I go before or go late after VBS. I would rather go before but the more I think about it I might have to go after which will make the mornings oh so dreadful due to lack of sufficient sleep.
Making decisions as a Christian can be too hard sometimes. The hardest times are when you dont know if you are making a decision from a Christian perspective or a selfish perspective. Sometimes the result is the same but you question it because you're motives are not clear even to yourself. I know what would help me - sticking to my regular prayer/Bible reading time every day. I'm so horrible about that. But I am more at ease with my decisions when I know I'm communing with God on a daily basis. I will do really good for a few days and then something will happen and I'll fall off track again. Of course I pray randomly during the day but I need the focused time with Him and I'm not always good about giving it to Him. Some people have grown up having this special time every day so to them it's like brushing their teeth and they cant imagine not having that time in their day. I admire that and need to develop it. Rebekah should know that her parents dont go a day without kneeling before God and reading from His word.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Rough Start
Weight this morning: 177lbs
Goal weight: 140lbs
Mood: Expectant
Rough start this morning because about 5 minutes after getting to work I got sick and had to go home. Then I came back to work about two hours later. What I wouldn't give for work at home capability here!
Tomorrow is July 4th as well as a birthday party for my dad. I'm excited! First of all not working on Friday will be WONDERFUL! Second of all, it will be the first time in a long while where we are going to hang out one night and not have to get up early the next morning! Hopefully we'll get some good family pictures this weekend. I love hanging out with my side of the family because everyone plays cards and if we're really having fun we'll play for hours. Hopefully everyone is in a good mood tomorrow night. And HOPEFULLY I don't overeat because we're having barbecue and I'm making cheese dip. :X Tomorrow will be the best time to perfect my portion control skills. I cant believe my parents are getting so old!
Here are more random pictures. The funny thing is that I'm REALLY bad about taking pictures - I rarely take them unless someone has requested that I take some of Rebekah. So these are all pictures that some of the girls at church have taken because unlike me, most of them don't leave the house without a camera in tow. I'm thankful to them because 90% of the pictures I have of Rebekah are from them. The top pictures are a little old but the bottom two are from the conference we went to two weekends ago. This was during a long break between sessions when we were all hanging out in our hotel rooms resting. But don't let the pictures fool you - the blanket and the pillow were merely props for Rebekah. No nap was had during our "resting time."
Goal weight: 140lbs
Mood: Expectant
Rough start this morning because about 5 minutes after getting to work I got sick and had to go home. Then I came back to work about two hours later. What I wouldn't give for work at home capability here!
Tomorrow is July 4th as well as a birthday party for my dad. I'm excited! First of all not working on Friday will be WONDERFUL! Second of all, it will be the first time in a long while where we are going to hang out one night and not have to get up early the next morning! Hopefully we'll get some good family pictures this weekend. I love hanging out with my side of the family because everyone plays cards and if we're really having fun we'll play for hours. Hopefully everyone is in a good mood tomorrow night. And HOPEFULLY I don't overeat because we're having barbecue and I'm making cheese dip. :X Tomorrow will be the best time to perfect my portion control skills. I cant believe my parents are getting so old!
Here are more random pictures. The funny thing is that I'm REALLY bad about taking pictures - I rarely take them unless someone has requested that I take some of Rebekah. So these are all pictures that some of the girls at church have taken because unlike me, most of them don't leave the house without a camera in tow. I'm thankful to them because 90% of the pictures I have of Rebekah are from them. The top pictures are a little old but the bottom two are from the conference we went to two weekends ago. This was during a long break between sessions when we were all hanging out in our hotel rooms resting. But don't let the pictures fool you - the blanket and the pillow were merely props for Rebekah. No nap was had during our "resting time."
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Back at it!
Weight this morning: 177.5lbs
Goal weight: 140lbs
Mood: Hopeful
This blog is going to be focused on my whole weight lost saga. I took a month off from working out for various reasons that will take more time to explain than it's worth. One of the reasons was because I was having some MAJOR calf pain in both legs. I decided to try to switch shoes and see if running in the brands I used to always wear helps.
I started working out again on Monday. I was shocked that I was basically able to run almost as much as I was when I quit a month ago. I'm pretty sore right now but I could do it and that is a great feeling. Surprisingly, now that I'm actually working out I'm not as scared to actually put my real weight out there. I mean when you think about it, it's not about what I weigh - it's about how I look and how I feel. But putting my weight and my goal on here is something that I hope will continue to motivate me because I feel accountable to what I'm putting up for all to see.
I have ALWAYS wanted to be a long distance runner but my asthma always held me back. I was athletic when I was young but I was a sprinter. When it came to the mile, I was always last or second to last. In college I worked out but it was more weight lifting and volleyball, I still couldn't run. Finally in 2001 I decided I was just going to make myself become a runner and I built myself up to running on a treadmill for 30 minutes at 5.5mph. It was a HUGE achievement for me. Unfortunately, I stopped working out, gained weight, got married, gained more weight, got pregnant and gained a lot more weight and finally this year got sick of it. It didn't take me long to get back to running for 30 minutes again which I'm very excited about but now I have more concrete goals of being able to run a 5K and a 10K and eventually a half-marathon OUTSIDE! I have a much harder time running outside - I don't know why. I need to set some dates of when I want to do this. Right now I'm strictly running on a treadmill though. I feel like I want to get in better shape before I transition outside. I'm currently thinking lose another 20 lbs and then start outside. This is probably just me subconsciously avoiding running in public on the street!
As far as my workout regimen, right now I basically just do 50 minutes on the treadmill. I have not been doing much weight lifting. In the past I would do 30 minutes treadmill/30 minutes weight lifting but I think I'm losing more weight with all of the cardio right now. I tend to get lazier about cardio when I incorporate weights. So for now, I'm staying away from weight lifting. However, I really want to start doing push ups and crunches but I hate doing them and have yet to make myself get on the floor and go for it. By my next blog - which should be within a week I better be on here typing that I did it.
As far as eating goes I keep a food diary and count calories, fat, sugar, carbs, and sodium. I really have found that planning my meals and recording actuals helps me so much. My only problem is that I don't have enough variety. I need to figure out how to get more stuff in. It's hard with Indian food too - I don't always know how to guesstimate the number of calories and fat in some of the dishes. But then that's also where portion control comes into play and I'm so bad at portion control. I'm also a total emotional eater. Bored, happy, irritated, sad or angry and I'm looking for something to stuff in my mouth. But the food diary really helps me curb that.
I've been praying like crazy that God will help me lose this weight. But I've also been convicted that I should be spending twice the energy I use worrying about my weight loss to worry about developing my fellowship with God. I need to consistently read my Bible, pray and pray at home with my family. I feel like if I make time for God, He will help me make time for the other things.
Okay, you can wake up now. I'm done for today. I really will try to make this an interesting blog. I'm just not sure how to yet...
Goal weight: 140lbs
Mood: Hopeful
This blog is going to be focused on my whole weight lost saga. I took a month off from working out for various reasons that will take more time to explain than it's worth. One of the reasons was because I was having some MAJOR calf pain in both legs. I decided to try to switch shoes and see if running in the brands I used to always wear helps.
I started working out again on Monday. I was shocked that I was basically able to run almost as much as I was when I quit a month ago. I'm pretty sore right now but I could do it and that is a great feeling. Surprisingly, now that I'm actually working out I'm not as scared to actually put my real weight out there. I mean when you think about it, it's not about what I weigh - it's about how I look and how I feel. But putting my weight and my goal on here is something that I hope will continue to motivate me because I feel accountable to what I'm putting up for all to see.
I have ALWAYS wanted to be a long distance runner but my asthma always held me back. I was athletic when I was young but I was a sprinter. When it came to the mile, I was always last or second to last. In college I worked out but it was more weight lifting and volleyball, I still couldn't run. Finally in 2001 I decided I was just going to make myself become a runner and I built myself up to running on a treadmill for 30 minutes at 5.5mph. It was a HUGE achievement for me. Unfortunately, I stopped working out, gained weight, got married, gained more weight, got pregnant and gained a lot more weight and finally this year got sick of it. It didn't take me long to get back to running for 30 minutes again which I'm very excited about but now I have more concrete goals of being able to run a 5K and a 10K and eventually a half-marathon OUTSIDE! I have a much harder time running outside - I don't know why. I need to set some dates of when I want to do this. Right now I'm strictly running on a treadmill though. I feel like I want to get in better shape before I transition outside. I'm currently thinking lose another 20 lbs and then start outside. This is probably just me subconsciously avoiding running in public on the street!
As far as my workout regimen, right now I basically just do 50 minutes on the treadmill. I have not been doing much weight lifting. In the past I would do 30 minutes treadmill/30 minutes weight lifting but I think I'm losing more weight with all of the cardio right now. I tend to get lazier about cardio when I incorporate weights. So for now, I'm staying away from weight lifting. However, I really want to start doing push ups and crunches but I hate doing them and have yet to make myself get on the floor and go for it. By my next blog - which should be within a week I better be on here typing that I did it.
As far as eating goes I keep a food diary and count calories, fat, sugar, carbs, and sodium. I really have found that planning my meals and recording actuals helps me so much. My only problem is that I don't have enough variety. I need to figure out how to get more stuff in. It's hard with Indian food too - I don't always know how to guesstimate the number of calories and fat in some of the dishes. But then that's also where portion control comes into play and I'm so bad at portion control. I'm also a total emotional eater. Bored, happy, irritated, sad or angry and I'm looking for something to stuff in my mouth. But the food diary really helps me curb that.
I've been praying like crazy that God will help me lose this weight. But I've also been convicted that I should be spending twice the energy I use worrying about my weight loss to worry about developing my fellowship with God. I need to consistently read my Bible, pray and pray at home with my family. I feel like if I make time for God, He will help me make time for the other things.
Okay, you can wake up now. I'm done for today. I really will try to make this an interesting blog. I'm just not sure how to yet...
Friday, June 27, 2008
Rom 8:38-39
This is the first time in a long time where I really wondered how I could call myself a Christian. God brought to light a sin I had been struggling with for a long time - as long as I can remember in fact. He had been telling me to stop and I ignored Him until today when it all blew up in my face. I have been crying off and on all day just because I cant believe what I have been letting myself get away with. On the one hand I'm so sad because I hurt people and I wish I would have stopped before hurting anyone. On the other hand, I'm starting to feel slightly relieved that I'm not going to be able to rationalize this particular temptation as easily as I have in the past. A dear friend and coworker who I confided in about my situation sent me a note and had me read from a couple of places in the Bible. But never has Romans 8:38-39 ever meant more to me:
For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Thank God that no matter how badly I screw up, He will still love me. I dont deserve it, and that's what keeps echoing in my head even as I type this. But whether I deserve it or not, He has given it to me and He's not taking His love back. What an amazing love! I still feel low and I'm really going to have a hard time forgiving myself but God has already forgiven me and ultimately I know that is all that really matters. But I'm praying God will give me some peace about it so that my heart doesnt continue to feel like it weighs 50lbs. I'd like to dwell on this but I wont. I'm thankful to God that hopefully He has shaken me to the point that I wont fall into the same pattern in the future.
Ironically, this past weekend I attended a church conference and it was wonderful. Every speaker and every message I heard was fantastic and applicable. I even heard messages about the sin I have been struggling with. I told myself I was going to fix things but I dont think I was really ready to until today. Maybe I would have handled today's events different if God hadnt prepared me with perspective this past weekend.
This weekend will be busy. We're going to have our cousins and our best friends come over tomorrow. Rebekah's birthday was on Monday - she's three now! We had dinner with our immediate families which means brothers, sisters and parents on Monday and had a great time. Tomorrow we thought we'd use her birthday as another excuse to get the youngens together again. Unfortunately some of our cousins already have plans but hopefully we'll do this again soon. I hope I will be disciplined enough to take pictures. The other thing is we like to get together and play games - be it card games or board games. But we get kinda competitive and I am definitely the chiefest among sinners in that perspective. BUT I am REALLY going to pray hard that God helps me control myself this weekend in light of today. I am already dreading the pain I will surely feel as my teeth bite into my lip when someone starts talking smack. I'm going to let you know how I did on Monday which hopefully will keep me motivated to stay good!
I dont know how people can get through struggles without God in their lives...
For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Thank God that no matter how badly I screw up, He will still love me. I dont deserve it, and that's what keeps echoing in my head even as I type this. But whether I deserve it or not, He has given it to me and He's not taking His love back. What an amazing love! I still feel low and I'm really going to have a hard time forgiving myself but God has already forgiven me and ultimately I know that is all that really matters. But I'm praying God will give me some peace about it so that my heart doesnt continue to feel like it weighs 50lbs. I'd like to dwell on this but I wont. I'm thankful to God that hopefully He has shaken me to the point that I wont fall into the same pattern in the future.
Ironically, this past weekend I attended a church conference and it was wonderful. Every speaker and every message I heard was fantastic and applicable. I even heard messages about the sin I have been struggling with. I told myself I was going to fix things but I dont think I was really ready to until today. Maybe I would have handled today's events different if God hadnt prepared me with perspective this past weekend.
This weekend will be busy. We're going to have our cousins and our best friends come over tomorrow. Rebekah's birthday was on Monday - she's three now! We had dinner with our immediate families which means brothers, sisters and parents on Monday and had a great time. Tomorrow we thought we'd use her birthday as another excuse to get the youngens together again. Unfortunately some of our cousins already have plans but hopefully we'll do this again soon. I hope I will be disciplined enough to take pictures. The other thing is we like to get together and play games - be it card games or board games. But we get kinda competitive and I am definitely the chiefest among sinners in that perspective. BUT I am REALLY going to pray hard that God helps me control myself this weekend in light of today. I am already dreading the pain I will surely feel as my teeth bite into my lip when someone starts talking smack. I'm going to let you know how I did on Monday which hopefully will keep me motivated to stay good!
I dont know how people can get through struggles without God in their lives...
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Day 1
Watch out, World! Sherry has finally started blogging!!!
First off I will explain the title. I get a devotional in my inbox every day and a few weeks ago I got one that was called Getting Up Again and it was based on Hebrews 12:1 which states: Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. The author of the devotional goes into describing his son who in a hurdle race fell down and jumped back up again and kept going without hesitating for a second and ended up winning third place and also continued competing for another hour and a half with bandaged injuries. And obviously that ties into how as Christians even when we fall down (usually because of something self inflicted) we have to jump back up again and keep striving towards our goal of finishing the race that God has set out for us. And seeing as how I am CONSTANTLY falling down in every aspect of my life (family, spiritual, work, friendships, you-name-it) I thought I need to make myself focus on the getting up part. Anyway, that's that!
A tiny bit about me: I've been married for about four and a half years. We have one daughter and her name is Rebekah and she will be turning three on June 23rd. She is both a handful and a miracle.
First off I will explain the title. I get a devotional in my inbox every day and a few weeks ago I got one that was called Getting Up Again and it was based on Hebrews 12:1 which states: Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. The author of the devotional goes into describing his son who in a hurdle race fell down and jumped back up again and kept going without hesitating for a second and ended up winning third place and also continued competing for another hour and a half with bandaged injuries. And obviously that ties into how as Christians even when we fall down (usually because of something self inflicted) we have to jump back up again and keep striving towards our goal of finishing the race that God has set out for us. And seeing as how I am CONSTANTLY falling down in every aspect of my life (family, spiritual, work, friendships, you-name-it) I thought I need to make myself focus on the getting up part. Anyway, that's that!
A tiny bit about me: I've been married for about four and a half years. We have one daughter and her name is Rebekah and she will be turning three on June 23rd. She is both a handful and a miracle.
My husband is an elder (like a pastor) at our church so we are obviously very involved there and we also both work full time. We both come from big families and prefer to have them around most of the time. In fact, I'm pretty sure the only reason we are still sane is because of the help we have gotten from our families over the years. Also, three years after giving birth to my daughter I finally decided to lose pregnancy weight mixed in with newlywed weight. Yes, I'm long overdue but I've finally decided to make it a priority thanks to my brother in law and future sister in law who will be getting married in Puerto Rico next January. I decided if I was going to happily go I needed to lose about 60lbs. I've got 40lbs to go and undoubtedly this might be used as a sounding board from time to time. I apologize in advance!!! Lastly, the biggest struggle for me over the past 6 months or so has been trying to develop spiritually and strengthen my fellowship with God. So you will surely read some of that too! I guess that's me in a nutshell...
I'm going to close my first post thanking my friend Aubrey who inspired me to start the blog. I love reading hers and finally decided to commit to one myself. The only problem is that I now feel this overwhelming pressure to make it at least half as interesting as I find hers...If I fail in that arena, please just dont tell me. :)
I'm going to close my first post thanking my friend Aubrey who inspired me to start the blog. I love reading hers and finally decided to commit to one myself. The only problem is that I now feel this overwhelming pressure to make it at least half as interesting as I find hers...If I fail in that arena, please just dont tell me. :)
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